


A Frog In Boiling Water

by definitely_a_textbook



Category: Persona 5
Genre: (Its the student under madarame from canon), Gen, Suicide mention, one-shots about yusuke and his feelings since we never get to see Kosei and how his school life is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-11 18:37:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11720163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/definitely_a_textbook/pseuds/definitely_a_textbook
Summary: There’s a saying that if you place a frog in boiling water, he’ll jump out, realizing the water is too hot for him to survive. However, if you place a frog in tepid water and slowly increase the heat, he will never notice the temperature difference and be boiled alive. Yusuke had never realized how close to boiling the water had been until he’d been pulled out of it.(A series of One-shots about Yusuke and his point of view of his school, his friends, and his life. There just isn’t enough.)





	1. A Frog In Boiling Water

**Author's Note:**

> Currently, this first one-shot has only a vague mention of the other thieves besides Yusuke, but if my writer's block has finally been cured, I'll post more with them actually present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Currently, this first one-shot has only a vague mention of the other thieves besides Yusuke, but if my writer's block has finally been cured, I'll post more with them actually present.

There’s a saying that if you place a frog in boiling water, he’ll jump out, realizing the water is too hot for him to survive. However, if you place a frog in tepid water and slowly increase the heat, he will never notice the temperature difference and be boiled alive. Yusuke had never realized how close to boiling the water had been until he’d been pulled out of it.

Yusuke had never truly contemplated suicide. It was an idea that floated around his head on quiet occasions when he couldn’t drown out his own thoughts, but it was a scary thought and he couldn’t imagine how a fellow student of his foster father could push themselves through that fear to attempt it and succeed. It made him sick with fear, but Madarame told him not to worry. He shouldn’t think about it, like many other emotionally driven things. So, Yusuke didn’t.

Yusuke had been the only one left under Madarame. It wasn’t a coincidence that he remained under Madarame’s care as his pupil while others ran. Nakanohara had asked him why he refused to follow him and leave their Sensei’s cruel treatment, but Yusuke had only laughed bitterly; hollow and humorless. He told him, “I would leave if I could.” The only problem, was that he couldn’t.

He owed his life to Madarame, or so he thought.

Yusuke had never been told that the look in his eyes had been lifeless. No one ever spoke to him, but still, he’d heard whispers around Kosei: eccentric, strange, proud, full of himself, stupid. He wasn’t great at math and his social skills were greatly lacking unless it was to repeat the same phrase to expectant onlookers: “I am proud to be Madarame’s pupil and charge. I only wish I could express my gratitude.” The smile on his lips would never reach his eyes. The advancement of his art was all that was important. He wouldn’t lose his scholarship as long as Madarame was around to endorse him and Madarame would endorse him as long as the art he gave to man was professional and inspired. No one ever told him he looked dead on the inside. They never told him the water was boiling.

Even though Yusuke had always been quick to find inspiration and chase it, when he had none, which was the case more often than not, those around him saw a young man with a blank stare and little ambition for anything other than finding something to light the spark again. His answers to questions in class were monotone and quiet, his expressions dispassionate and empty. Wrong answers were never met with embarrassment, even after students’ taunting, and correct answers were only met with a disinterested nod.

There were a few weeks before Madarame’s arrest where Yusuke’s classmates could finally see a bit of emotion behind the young man’s eyes. Some saw fear, while others saw determination. Yusuke clearly hadn’t been inspired to create anything. He would fidget in class. He would be surprised by teacher’s calls. He tapped his pen on notebooks and anxiously bounced his leg. This was not Yusuke’s usual artistic melodramatics. This was strange and new.

After Madarame’s press conference and subsequent arrest, many realized what Yusuke might have been going through. It was all over the news: Madarame had been plagiarizing his students work and abusing them if they failed to comply or be of any use. After Yusuke’s brief interview with a newscaster, explaining that yes, what Madarame had admitted was true and yes, some of the paintings were his, more of Madarame’s old pupils came forward to request their art back. Yusuke’s stress over the past few weeks began to make sense. Yusuke had known.

Talk of the Phantom Thieves that stole Madarame’s wicked heart spread through Kosei like wildfire.

From then on, Yusuke let his fellow pupils do the talking and stayed away from any other news appearances. Now that he had time to think about it, Yusuke realized he had missed each of the other students dearly. Nakanohara awkwardly embraced him and let him know he was glad his plea to the Phantom Thieves had been answered and Yusuke was okay. Yusuke told him he was glad he had. He was glad he had listened to his fellow thieves’ pleas and jumped while he still could.

After Madarame was gone and Yusuke had been assigned to a dorm, his roommate, who had hoped to be alone for the remainder of the school year, returned to an empty dorm after working up the courage to address Yusuke with any rules he had. He had then hoped Yusuke wouldn’t come back, but he was denied that wish as well.

The dead eyed stare he had been prepared to battle was nowhere in sight when Yusuke returned to the dormitories after staying the night with a good friend. Instead, Yusuke listened to his roommate lay out his demands for living together in their shared space with interest and quiet obedience. He gave Yusuke an opening to lay out his wishes so that there could be compromise anywhere necessary, but the tall young man had nothing to ask of him other than a warning if anyone was coming to spend the afternoon. Yusuke disappeared into his room and his roommate still found him strange and unsociable, but certainly alive for a change.

From then on, those who had noticed Yusuke before were struck with the realization that the boy had more visible emotion, other than frustration at his artistic ability. He occasionally stumbled over answers to questions, asked for clarification, showed genuine confusion and disappointment when wrong, and joy when he answered correctly. After the incident with Madarame, his classmates were less inclined to speak with him than they were before, but it wasn’t as if Yusuke really cared. Nothing had changed from his point of view. If anything, people just stared for longer periods of time.

It was when the Kosei’s art history class drew close to the subject of Madarame that the atmosphere of the class took a strained turn. The teacher, Mamoru, was a kind man who respected his students and occasionally found good moments to joke with them. Yusuke had always been the hardest for him to figure out. “I hate to start this part of the unit considering what we know now about Madarame, but the paintings are still very relevant. It’s a pity we don’t know who painted some of these.” Mamoru looked up, meeting eyes with Yusuke near the back of the room. “Perhaps you painted some of these, Kitagawa?”

Yusuke blinked and with a downtrodden expression said, “Possibly, but there were many others who were taught…” Yusuke paused, and took a moment to correct himself. It was impossible not to notice as he continued speaking, “… forced to work under Madarame, so…”

In his attempt to connect with Yusuke like he had with his other students, Mamoru asked Yusuke to stand and name the individual who had painted the painting depicted in their textbook on page 236, confident the boy would find some pride in sharing the knowledge of something only he would know with the rest of the class. However, Yusuke only stared down at the page from his spot next to his desk. No one spoke and all eyes were trained on him. It didn’t take long before someone noticed Yusuke’s hands were shaking.

Yusuke recognized the painting and knew that the person who had painted the piece was no longer alive.

“Kitagawa?”

Yusuke immediately looked up upon hearing his name. The wide-eyed expressions of his fellow students and teacher made him realize tears were dripping down his cheeks. Yusuke quickly moved to wipe the tears away. He tried to blink away the temptation to cry, but the tears kept coming. He had never addressed their death and remembering it now only caused his breathing to feel shallow and his chest to burn. He didn’t like it. Yusuke wiped his cheeks in vain and quietly explained, “I’m sorry, but they are no longer… with us.”

“We understand,” Mamoru responded quickly and motioned for him to sit back down. He remembered hearing about a student of Madarame’s taking their own life years ago. He could only imagine what Yusuke was feeling now, “Please, don’t… don’t force yourself.”

“I apologize,” Yusuke offered weakly as he sat down, unable to find an excuse for his behavior.

“Don’t,” Thankfully, Mamoru was sympathetic, “It’s alright.”

It was the first time many of his fellow students had seen him so emotional. The information spread quickly and yet no sympathy came his way. Yusuke no longer appeared empty behind his dark eyes. Whatever void he had been trying to fill with his frantic searches for inspiration had been satiated sometime after Madarame’s admission of guilt. His classmates and teachers saw a boy who had found meaning in something and was possibly still searching for more, but was no longer content knowing nothing. There was pain and determination behind those eyes now. Although it was an improvement, his temperament remained the same. The unwittingly stuck-up eccentric was still there, just with more color to his cheeks. He was still weird, still a loner, still unwelcome. Yusuke was alone at school, but not elsewhere. What they didn’t know, was that the something Yusuke had found to brighten his eyes and turn the brief sparks in his chest into a roaring flame, was a home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had writer's block for a good chunk of time and it seems Persona 5 was able to get me writing again. I noticed there wasn't much about what Yusuke went through before and during the game's timeline (at least that I could fine. If you know of any send them my way!) so I wanted to make use of my inspiration. I hope you enjoy it and i manage to write more!


	2. Almost Had Me Fooled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a part in Yusuke's social link when Yusuke seems to be questioning Madarame's intentions when he took him in. I thought it would be nice to combine the scene with my own ideas and show Yusuke as a little more conflicted in his rage and asking for more reassurance.

It was late in the night in the middle of summer vacation. The fan Akira had brought down to rest on the floor nearby rattled in vain to cool the spacious attic. Ryuji had made it very clear he didn’t want to go home. When Akira asked why, he explained his mother would be working late and a silent apartment grated on his nerves.

Yusuke could relate. After every other pupil had left and Madarame was away at his true home under an obvious lie, Yusuke would lay in silence, unable to sleep. It was strange how deafening silence could be. Yusuke had been about to stand, picking up his bag, ready to catch the last train back to his school’s dorms, when Akira stopped him.

“Yusuke?”

Yusuke looked up and met his eyes, “Yes?”

“Do you want to stay too? It’s late,” Akira and Ryuji watched him, waiting patiently for his answer.

“I…” Yusuke brushed his hair away from his eyes, fidgeting under their shared scrutiny, “I wouldn’t want to intrude.” He knew Akira and Ryuji had known each other longer than he had known either of them. The difference couldn’t have been more than a few months, considering Akira was new to the city, but as open and accepting as Akira, Ann, and Ryuji had been from the start, Yusuke still felt out of place. He just wasn’t used to all this attention, initiated by either him or them.

He wasn’t used to having friends.

“Nah, man,” Ryuji’s smile was bright and warm, “We’ve been hangin’ out all day! Let’s keep this goin’! Plus, didn’t you say you hate your dorms?”

Yusuke looked back toward Akira, “If you’d like me to stay...”

Akira’s laugh was heartwarming, “Of course! I did ask, after all.”

Yusuke had returned the smile.

Now, they each laid on the hardwood floor, a pillow or rolled up blanket underneath them. Akira’s bed and the attic couch could fit one person each if they wanted to lay down, but tired late-night conversations were best spent on even ground. They all stared up at the ceiling. The star stickers Yusuke had given Akira from their trip to the planetarium glowed in the dark above them, stuck to the ceiling rafters. They were mesmerizing this late at night, blurring as their eyes unfocused in their drowsiness.

The conversation they had previously been having had petered out after a few contagious yawns and interruptions from Ann texting the group chat, asking to hang out the next day. The later it got, the more aware they were of their need to sleep. Ann’s messages had been a helpful reminder. In the silence, Yusuke could hear Akira’s and Ryuji’s soft breathing. He wasn’t alone, he knew that, but without their drowsy discussions and predisposition to giggling at stupid jokes at such a late hour, Yusuke began to get lost in his thoughts. He began to think of Madarame again.

He hadn’t had any reservations about defeating Madarame’s shadow when he’d been livid and devastated, but now that he’d had time to think, he began to wonder more about what the shadow had told him. It had been so easy to believe Madarame had been using him for his talents from the beginning, but his mother had been a student under Madarame and he’d had only been three when Madarame had let her die. As much pride as Yusuke had in his artistic ability, he couldn’t imagine how Madarame could believe Yusuke could improve as he had and be of use. If anything, he had been extremely useless for quite some time. He had only been twelve when his abilities had been professional enough for Madarame’s use. Why had he spent so long honing Yusuke’s abilities if there had been no guarantee the training would produce results?

Yusuke had been so disgusted by the revelation that Madarame had been so heartless from the start that crushing his shadow beneath his feet had been easy and cathardic. However, living with Madarame after the change of heart, calling Akira for constant reassurance as Madarame refused to leave his room, whimpered soft apologies when he couldn’t meet Yusuke’s eyes, and reaching out to kindly tuck locks of Yusuke’s hair behind his ear like he had as a child, only to stop short and mutter to himself instead, had Yusuke questioning what they'd done. Yusuke couldn’t say he regret his choice to change Madarame’s heart, but in some ways, the rage he had felt in the palace had died down. Madarame hadn’t always treated him like dirt, but that could only mean his early childhood had all been a lie. Madarame had never cared.

_If that was true… why didn’t he toss me away when my mother died. I was only three. It would have been easy._

“Was I…?” Yusuke asked, his voice slightly above a whisper. He sounded much too loud to his own ears and stopped before he could bother his newly found friends. It was a stupid question, one build on assumptions and confusion.

“Were you what?” Ryuji asked, his eyes closed and right leg bent to reduce strain from the permanent damage done to it. He would have appeared fast asleep if he hadn’t spoken.

“It’s…” Yusuke wasn’t sure if he should ask the question he’d been contemplating for weeks. It just didn’t seem fair to bring them into more of his predicaments. “It’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothing,” Akira said and rolled onto his side to see Yusuke more clearly. “We’re your friends, you know? You can ask us anything.”

Yusuke hummed a slight smile replacing his concentrated frown, “You’re very observant, Akira.”

“We’d be screwed in Palaces if I wasn’t.”

“Very true…” Yusuke paused for a moment, his frown returning. “Was I… Was I abused?”

There was a beat of silence.

“By Madarame?” Ryuji asked.

“Yes.”

“Yeah, man,” Ryuji’s voice was strained, “Why are you asking?”

“I apologize,” Yusuke closed his eyes and forced himself to tune out his thoughts, “I won’t ask again.”

“No, no, no,” Ryuji quickly sat up and turned toward Yusuke. “I didn’t mean it like that!” Yusuke opened his eyes again and found himself under the scrutiny of both Ryuji and Akira once again. They both frowned down at him, obviously concerned for him.

“I think Ryuji meant that he wanted to know why you were questioning it. You were definitely abused,” Akira placed a hand on Yusuke’s shoulder as he sat up as well. He stared down at the floor, unable to meet their eyes.

“It’s just… I feel as though you’ve both been through worse than me. I’ve been thinking about my life with Madarame and he never really beat me. I had money to eat. I had a bed to sleep in. When I was younger, Madarame had even been so kind and would spend time with me. He could have very easily gotten rid of me when he let my mother die…”

“Sure, but…” Ryuji said and shared a glance with Akira, “Okay, so like, you know my dad beat me and my mom, right?”

Yusuke simply nodded.

“That was physical abuse, but… even if Madarame didn’t leave bruises, he was absolutely abusive.”

“Ryuji’s right,” Akira removed his hand from Yusuke’s shoulder and sighed, “You lived with him for years and he treated you like a slave. He lied to you and… your mother… You didn’t deserve that.”

“True, but…” Yusuke grew quiet again. Madarame, for years, had berated him, threatened him, lied to him, and hid coercion behind thinly vailed kindness. He had forced Yusuke to go along with a monumental lie his entire life and ultimately allowed the death of two individuals he didn’t seem to care for in any capacity. “Madarame was a shameful man. He let my mother die! I just… I can’t… Why do I miss him? What’s wrong with me?”

Ryuji shifted his sitting position and Akira ran his fingers through his hair in thought.

“I wouldn’t forgive my dad,” Ryuji mumbled, “Not in a million years, so I might not really get where you’re coming from. I’m glad that scumbag is gone… but I guess, sometimes I think about when I was real little and my dad wasn’t such a drunk… He would watch baby cartoons with me and bring home candy when he came home work. I guess I miss that.”

“…If this is sharing hour,” Akira said with an awkward chuckle, “My parents are getting a divorce… and I guess it’s for the best. They fought a lot and neither of them are bad people. They love me and tried their best, but I can’t imagine my arrest helped them out much, especially since they won’t believe me. If they can’t get along and they don’t love each other anymore, I can’t expect them to stay together. Sometimes though, I really miss when we were all happy and that they’d just… I don’t know… work a little harder to stay together?”

Yusuke pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them close.

“I think… it’s normal to miss the people your parents or parental figures used to be,” Akira continued. Akira picked up the pillow he had been lying on and picked at a loose thread on the pillow case. “He hadn’t always seemed like that, had he Yusuke?”

“I suppose not,” Yusuke shrugged, “but, then again, it could have all been a ruse.” Yusuke found himself remembering how Madarame’s shadow had cried out for him as he turned his back. Had he cared in some capacity?

“But you miss when he was nice, huh?” Ryuji said, catching on.

“Yes… and,” Yusuke took a deep breath and looked back up at the ceiling and the glow-in-the-dark stars, “My mother. She died when I was three and Madarame’s shadow said he took me in not knowing I’d produce art like her. Why did he?” Now that he wasn’t meeting their gaze, Yusuke found the ability to speak his mind, “I talked to Sakura about this and he said he must have cared about me… Did he?”

“I don’t think I can answer that,” Akira said, uncertain. “Do you regret it?”

“No… but… I’m just not sure.”

“He’s allowed to have visitors in prison, right?” Ryuji asked, “I guess… You could always ask him yourself? If you want to.”

“I suppose I could,” Yusuke muttered.

“Are you just going to talk all night?” Morgana growled from his spot curled up at the bottom of Akira’s bed. “You’re all very annoying.”

“Sorry, Morgana,” Akira smiled.

“Oh, come on,” Ryuji rolled his eyes, “This is a serious conversation.”

“No, no, he’s right,” Yusuke said with a slight smile, “Speaking with you both helped me get my thoughts straight. I feel a lot better now.”

“And Yusuke, if you want to visit Madarame,” Morgana said as he readjusted his position and curled into ball, “you should go.”

“Thank you for your input,” Yusuke laid back down. Ryuji and Akira did the same. The floor was hard, but somehow still more comfortable than the sofa. It was long past two in the morning when they finished talking and soon enough, they were asleep.

It was days later when Yusuke had made plans to visit Madarame in prison. He was old and rich. Ultimately, he would have an easy time in prison, even after he begged for a harsher punishment. He sat across from Madarame, separated by a window of plexiglass. Madarame had tears in his eyes, but he blinked them back to keep from crying in front of Yusuke. The smile on his face was genuine. He was so happy to see Yusuke. Yusuke couldn’t say the same.

“It’s so good to see you, Yusuke,” Madarame spoke quietly and kindly, “I never thought you’d… Well anyway, how have you been? How is school? Are you doing well?”

“Do you actually care?” Yusuke asked, his voice grave and gaze sharp.

“I… Of course,” Madarame frowned, “I understand you are upset with me.”

“Upset?!” Yusuke shot up from his seat, the chair falling back behind him. The rage he’d been missing that past few days returned with harsh fury, “You let my mother die and used me and everyone else!”

Madarame gasped, eyes wide, “How did you…? No, of course you would know. Of course, you would be told about your mother after the trial.” Madarame sighed and looked down at his calloused hands. They were stiff with arthritis and were just part of the foundation of his inexcusable behavior. “Yusuke, I’m sorry. I know there is nothing I can say to make this better. I am a deplorable man and I’m sorry.”

Yusuke sniffled and wiped the tears spilling from his eyes. He hated how often he cried nowadays, when alone or otherwise. He had never cried so often when he was with Madarame. He didn’t know if that was a good thing or not, but his friends had never thought bad of it. “I just… I don’t know what to do now,” Yusuke admitted.

“I am… in no position… to be giving you my opinion… but I want you to be able to live and grow beyond what I’ve done to you. You're an amazing young man, Yusuke… I’m sorry, Yusuke.”

“I…” Yusuke hugged himself, quietly contemplated his position. He could forgive Madarame. He’d thought about it for so long and he still loved the man that had always been his father, but seeing Madarame now, he couldn’t fathom forgiving him. His mother, the other pupils. “You took everything…”

“I know.”

“I trusted you…” Yusuke swallowed, his mouth feeling extremely dry, “I feared you.”

“…I know.”

“Do you have nothing to say?!” Tears prickled Yusuke’s eyes. He took in a shaky breath and clenched his fists at his side, “Did you feel nothing for me? What of my mother?!”

“I… You are like my son, Yusuke,” Madarame refused to lift his head. He couldn’t look Yusuke in the eye. “I would… push down any reservations I had… to further my greed. I am so sorry.”

“I… I really can’t forgive you,” Yusuke picked his chair up after he noticed the dirty look an officer was giving him. The realization was a much a comfort to him as it was disappointing. “As much as I was to, I really can’t.”

“I understand.”

“I should… leave.” He hadn’t been here for very long. He had thirty minutes, but he couldn’t bear to stay much longer.

“I wish I had been better, Yusuke. I really do.”

“I wish for the same thing,” Yusuke muttered and stepped away. “Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Yusuke.”

So, he couldn’t forgive Madarame. He knew that now. Seeing him in person, unable to get much else other than fervent apologies, gave him nothing other than what he had already known. Yusuke might have missed the Madarame he remembered from his early childhood, but that wasn’t the man Madarame was later in life and that wasn’t who he was now. The man Yusuke thought he knew and idolized was gone and Yusuke had only confirmed that hunch. The Phantom Thieves had changed Madarame’s heart, but that didn’t change what he’d done. In some way, Yusuke felt better knowing his feelings were justified. 

He pulled out his phone and texted the group chat.

**Yusuke **: I saw Madarame today.****

******Ann **: You did?**** ** **

**********Yusuke **: I wanted to dispel any reservations I still had.**** ** ** ** **

**************Yusuke **: I can’t forgive him. I realize that now.**** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************Akira **: That’s okay!**** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**********************Ryuji **: Do whatever makes you the most comfortable, man.**** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**************************Yusuke **: Right.**** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

******************************Yusuke **: and thank you.**** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**********************************Akira **: :)**** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter went well. Again, this is mostly just going to be disjointed one-shots I'll write when I find inspiration. You shouldn't expect them to be in order or follow any sort of overall plot. This one is more dialog than I'm really used to, so I hope it's not too bad. I couldn't imagine Yusuke ever forgiving Madarame after what he learned about his mother, but Yusuke seemed like the type to still like the man he thought Madarame was and hold a lot of his reservations in without telling anyone. I also wanted a moment where Yusuke met with Madarame after he was sent to prison. He seemed like the type who'd want to.  
> (Also, I headcanon that Akira's parents are getting a divorce. I don't know where I got that, but it seemed fitting.)


	3. I Am in Your Debt

Yusuke had never imagined himself living in the situation he was in now: boarding in the school dorms, going to sleep hungry, struggling with his belief in himself, and fighting demons they called shadows in the abyss that was the human psyche with friends to change the world. One of those things were very extraordinary in Yusuke’s opinion and he probably shared that opinion with the rest of the world. However, after fighting against shadows in Madarame’s palace and Mementos, expecting the attacks of hostile monsters became his new normal. What was truly foreign to him now, was how often he was around people who truly cared about him.

Kosei was a lonely place at best. Yusuke often sat alone at lunch snacking on packets of crackers he’d gotten from Leblanc. The first time he’d stopped by, Akira had grabbed a fistful and shoved them into Yusuke’s school bag while Sojiro wasn’t looking. At this point, Yusuke grabbed a fistful himself after every visit. Sojiro always pretended not to see.  


Crackers were never very filling, but nibbling on them in the cafeteria kept his mind off stomach pains and on his school work.

Yusuke knew he needed to eat more, but he had spent every yen he had one a present when he had assumed Ann’s family would take him in and whatever small allowance Akira split up between each member of the Phantom Thieves from the money they earned from the Metaverse was spent poorly. He was an impulse buyer and often forgot how little money he actually had. Yusuke had no idea how to budget and often ran out long before the end of the month. He was disappointed in himself. The only reason the monthly allowance had been implemented was because Yusuke was growing thinner by the day and nearly fainted on an unfortunately stressful trip to Mementos. Sojiro’s attempts to refill Yusuke’s plates of curry without asking for him to pay for it and Akira’s offer of dinner whenever Yusuke stayed longer into the evening wasn’t enough to keep him from losing weight. Akira couldn’t always be around to force him to eat and Makoto’s kind suggestions of how to budget around necessities and art supplies were ultimately helpful but never stuck.

Yusuke hated asking for help. He had already asked for so much when they aimed to take down his foster father. Expecting someone to offer for him to live with them afterward had been even more presumptuous. It was embarrassing and pitiful. He couldn’t imagine trying to ask for more. Who was to say they wouldn’t grow to resent him as Madarame had? It was hard for Yusuke to remember that he didn’t have food waiting for him at the dorms. He had been forced to lived modestly before, but he had never been poor. Especially not so poor he had to agonize daily on what to spend money on. It was difficult to remember and it displeased his friends more than he thought it would.

At one of their more resent hangouts in the attic of Leblanc, Ryuji had climbed up the stairs with a bag from the convenience store on central street. He held out the bag to Yusuke and, when he took it, Ryuji sat down beside Akira, throwing his arms around the back of the couch. Yusuke continued to hold the bag away from himself, unsure what Ryuji wanted him to do with it. Makoto chuckled softly at the sight and leaned against the table they sat around. “Did you bring enough snacks to share with the class, Ryuji?” she asked with a teasing smile.

“Nah, it’s for Yusuke,” Ryuji said with a disinterested shrugged. “I had extra from what Akira gave us this month, so…”

“What is it?” Ann asked and Yusuke relinquished his ownership of the plastic store bag to her. She opened it and held it so they both could see when was inside. Ann pulled out multiple cups of instant noodles, a few of Yusuke’s favorite snacks he ate during meetings, and a bottle of soda. “Oh, I get it,” Ann smiled and put everything back in before handing it back to Yusuke.

“I don’t understand,” Yusuke tilted his head and scrunched his brows his confusion. “Why are you giving me this?”

Ryuji shrugged, uncomfortable having his motives questioned, “You mentioned you ran out of money again after buying art stuff for whatever new thing you’re working on and I thought I’d get you something so you didn’t go hungry. You really gotta stop doing that.”

“I can’t take this,” Yusuke reached back toward Ryuji to return the bag, “This would be unfair to you. I already spent all my money. You should be spending yours on yourself.”  


“Nah,” Ryuji leaned away, refusing to take it back, “I don’t care. It was extra. I spend it on my mom to help with bills anyway and she keeps telling me the same thing. Besides, you need to eat and you don’t hang out here every day.”

“My budgeting advice still hasn’t helped?” Makoto asked, looking slightly sad. Yusuke couldn’t tell if she was disappointed in him or herself. Yusuke frowned and brushed his hair from his eyes. He knew his behavior was unacceptable, but he truly had needed new paints. He hated that he was giving his friends a chance to be disappointed in him, but he just couldn’t follow Makoto’s advice when something caught his eye. Bean sprouts weren’t so bad once he had grown used to them. He was eating something after all.  
“It was helpful,” Yusuke said tentatively, “I am just… rather impulsive.”

“You should let us buy your food then,” Ann suggests, “Makoto’s budgeting ideas always gives us a bit extra to save. We could use that!”

“I could also bring you anything extra I’ve made for dinner for you to have at lunch. I always make too much,” Makoto adds and smiles. Yusuke wonders quietly why that smile looks so unhappy.

“No,” Yusuke shook his head, “I can’t ask you to do that. I’m fine.”

Morgana hummed from his napping spot on Akira’s lap and licks at his paw. “I doubt that,” he said, “You always make comments about how hungry you are in Mementos or how little money you have.”

“I…” Yusuke flushed in embarrassment, “I don’t mean to come off as if I’m asking for charity. I didn’t realize I was admitting to such things.”

“Budgeting clearly isn’t working for you,” Akira said finally, after a few moments of silent thought while the others spoke. “Would you be upset with us if we took your share and bought you food and art supplies with it? Plus, we’ve been getting so much from hounding shadows, I don’t think any of us should ever have to worry about money anymore.”

Yusuke looked down at the bag of cheap food Ryuji had used his money to buy for him. It was heartwarming that any of his friends thought and cared about him enough to keep him fed all these weeks since he’s met them. Akira had always made offers to pay for Yusuke’s meals whenever they spent time together. It had only been a matter of time before the other copied him. Now they were even offering to spend his money for him to keep him fed.

When he didn’t answer right away, the others seemed to take initiative and answer for him. Each of them were ready and willing to take turns buying him whatever he wanted to eat each week, while also continuing to pay for his share at restaurants and day trips. Yusuke truly was a disaster when it came to money management and caring for himself. He tried his best to convince himself that they were so excited to do this because they cared about him, but he couldn’t help but expect them to grow tired of him. He couldn’t reciprocate their help outside of brute force in Mementos and he could never realize when he was telling and not asking for them to give him something until they mentioned it. He couldn’t quite understand why they were all so happy to be his friends, but he refused to take it for granted now.

“I believe that would really help,” Yusuke said finally, clutching the plastic bag gifted to him a little closer, “Thank you, Ryuji.”

“No problem, man,” Ryuji grinned so brightly, Yusuke couldn’t help but match it. He could let them continue to pay for his food until he straightened himself out. As long as he wasn’t a burden to them, he would agree to it.

Akira chose to be next, then Ann, and then Makoto, who’s cooking was delicious. Then, the pattern continued with Ryuji again. He thanked them every occasion he had, but he never felt it was enough. He would need to figure out how to handle money eventually. After all, it wasn’t the best feeling having Akira catch him staring at an old, cheap artbook he had no money for and watch as Akira bought it for him with a knowing smile. He loved each of his friends so much, but he had no idea how to repay them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yosuke's voiced dialog always says, "I am in your debt." whenever you offer to help him. I couldn't help, but write something about him accepting help from everyone, because this boy needs to eat!!! If I could have spent all my money on Yusuke, I would have.
> 
> (Also, can you tell I like Ryuji? I like him a lot and I thought he'd be the one to do something like this. I live for Ryuji going above and beyond to be a good friend.)


	4. Kosei’s Shogi Prodigy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again we get a closer look at Yusuke's school life, but Hifumi's here! (This is the longest one-shot so far, I think.)
> 
> Edit: I noticed quite a few spelling errors in the past few chapters and fixed them along with some wording I felt didn't capture what I was trying to go for. There haven't been many changes but I thought I'd mention it.

Yusuke’s art teacher was perhaps less oblivious than Yusuke gave him credit for. Mamoru had been kind enough, for the past few months, to interact with Yusuke in class and keep any teasing to a minimum. The Phantom Thieves had drawn attention away from Madarame after they had taken down Kaneshiro and Medjed, from a few weeks prior, but his fellow students still kept their distance. Yusuke kept himself busy during school as best he could. Mamoru even allowed him to text during their quiet periods of artistry if he half-lied and claimed the Phantom Thieve group chat was important personal information or an emergency. He, thankfully, was one of the few teachers to refrain from asking questions. He seemed to recognize that Yusuke was lonely, and if his only friends were in a different school, he wouldn’t stop him from trying to interact with them.

Unfortunately, Mamoru was the only teacher with enough wherewithal to keep an eye on Yusuke and prevent bullying within his class. It just wasn’t enough. The others were much too distracted. Yusuke had left for the bathroom only a few minutes prior during history class and returned to the sketchbook he had nearly filled missing from his desk. He stood beside his desk for a moment, dumbfounded and running through the minutes before his trip to the bathroom in his mind to remember where his sketchbook was supposed to be.

“Kitagawa, please sit down,” his history teacher mumbled from the front of the class. She didn’t appreciate her class being interrupted by anyone, let alone a boy she had been warned to keep an eye on for emotional and behavioral issues.

“My sketchbook is missing,” Yusuke said, turning to his teacher. He hoped she would understand his distress by the look on his face. Not many people were as understanding as his fellow thieves or Mr. Mamoru, but certainly she would understand the grave scenario that was an art student’s lost sketchbook. Not only was there important school work for his art classes, but personal drawing of friends he wished to always keep around. It would be heartbreaking for the sketchbook to never be returned.

“I won’t say this again, Kitagawa,” his history teacher snapped, “Take your seat and stop interrupting my class.”

“But my sketchbook,” Yusuke took a deep breath, trying to keep from raising his voice. He knew he had a problem with that now that he was more open with his emotions, but she had to know how important his artwork was. There was a quiet snicker from behind him and Yusuke was quick to turn around and find the source. Ashikaga sat behind him in two different classes. He was a fellow art student that Yusuke only knew by his last name. He had no reason to learn or refer to him by his first name. He was rude, annoying, and certainly not Yusuke’s friend. The smirk he hid behind his hand made his misbehavior obvious. “Return my sketchbook.”

“I don’t have your sketchbook,” Ashikaga’s acting was worse than Ann’s. He wouldn’t stop smirking.

“ _Return_. _My_. _Sketchbook_ ,” Yusuke had been told his glare was menacing.

Ashikaga stopped smiling.

“Kitagawa, sit down!”

Yusuke took his seat. His sketchbook was not returned and the class fell into hushed whispers about whether or not Yusuke was okay.

Yusuke was the last to leave class after a stern talk with his teacher about listening to her the first time. He found his sketchbook outside the classroom, on the floor tiles. It hadn’t been there before. It had been left behind after class ended. The front cover and first few pages had been crumpled in someone’s fist and other pages had been ripped out or defiled by black pen. Drawings of his friends were scribbled over and covered in mocking language, sketches he had done for homework were drawn over with vulgar imagery, and rude inquiries were written over blank pages, asking him how girls at school possibly thought he was so attractive when he was so perverted and weird.

With nothing else to turn into Mr. Mamoru later that day for his homework, he showed the man the damage after class and explained that he would have something resembling the request for realism he had made to turn in before the end of the day. Mamoru, the kind adult he was, so different from the others Yusuke had lately been in contact with, gave him a few extra days and asked for the name of the person who had destroyed Yusuke’s property. Yusuke didn’t give one.

Yusuke left immediately after the school day ended, dropping his supplies at his dorm, and slipping off before his roommate could question the irritated expression on his face. He texted Akira. It was the first thing that came to mind and he couldn’t stop himself after Akira had made it so clear to all of them that he wanted his friends to come to him whenever needed. Unsurprisingly, now that Akira was more in tune with various other people the longer he spent in the city, their leader was out somewhere with someone. He said he was busy and Yusuke was ready to push down his frustration and wait to speak with Akira another day, when his phone buzzed in his hand again. 

**Akira: I’m in Jinbocho if you want to meet me by the bookstore. Do you have money for the train?**

Yusuke responded quickly, agreeing first and then checking that he indeed had enough money for the train ride there and back. He was thankful Akira had forced himself to break away from whatever stranger he was with to speak to Yusuke instead. Yusuke was not going to take his kindness for granted and was quick to take up Akira’s offer of a good listener.

The train ride was crowded, but Jinbocho was quiet and a welcome change. The bookstore was easy to find on his own. Akira had taken him here multiple times to check for any cheap books they might want and to just talk. When Yusuke was close enough to see Akira standing in front of the Jinbocho bookstore, it was easy to notice that he wasn’t alone.

Hifumi Togo, Koshei High’s Shogi Prodigy, spoke with Akira with a kind smile. He remembered Ryuji mentioning her once in their group chat, but he hadn’t remembered her name coming up again after that. He supposed it made sense that Akira would seek her out. His newer attack strategies could very well have been inspired by her Shogi techniques.

Hifumi noticed Yusuke approaching and Akira turned to see where her attention had landed. Once he noticed Yusuke himself, he smiled and waved him closer.

“Good evening, Kitagawa-kun,” Hifumi bowed her head in greeting and Yusuke returned the gesture.

“Same to you, Togo-san,” Yusuke turned toward Akira and fidgeted with his bag, “I realize now that I was perhaps interrupting something.” Both him and Hifumi clearly recognized each other, but they never spoke in school. Hifumi was not exempt from the distance Yusuke received from his fellow classmates. He rarely saw her and her own eccentricities caused a few individuals to avoid her, but her fame and public persona helped her maintain acquaintances and friends in school. Yusuke couldn’t dream off his experience being the same.

“I was just leaving,” Hifumi said and took a small step to the side, “Akira mentioned he would be meeting someone after our walk. I didn’t now Akira knew you, as well.”

“I could say the same.”

The tension among them wasn’t intentional, but Yusuke’s ineptness in social interaction left their first real conversation much to be desired. Akira was quick to notice and spoke up, “Yusuke actually told me a bit about you when my friends and I were talking about a shogi star. You two go to the same school, right?”

“That is correct,” Yusuke said.

Hifumi nodded.

“Would you be surprised if I was hoping to talk to you both today?”

Akira’s admission caught the attention of both Yusuke and Hifumi.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way…” Akira twirled a few strands of his bangs around his finger, unwittingly showing his nerves. “I know you’ve been relatively alone in school, Yusuke, and since I’m friends with Hifumi, I thought it’d only be fair to bring you two together, if you want.”

“I…” Hifumi blinked and a slight blush filled her cheeks.

“I am not romantically interested in Hifumi,” Yusuke said, adjusting his bag. It didn’t seem fair to let Hifumi think he found her more than aesthetically pleasing and a relatively kind person simply because a mutual friend thought they’d be good together.

“What?” Hifumi gasped.

“No!” Akira raising his palms up in a defensive gesture, “No, I meant… I’m friends with you two and it seemed a bit strange that neither of you interacted at school. I thought I could bring my friend circle a bit closer together. I don’t want to force friendship, though. If you guys don’t want to, that’s fine.” Akira always had the best of intensions when he offered his assistance. This was a strange way to make friends, in Yusuke’s opinion, but he had never been good at it on his own before. He had only fallen into his new friends’ laps after their desperate attempts to help him escape Madarame. That certainly wasn’t a normal way to make friends.

Hifumi, thankfully, shared Akira’s sentiments and agreed to speak with Yusuke again. They exchanged numbers and chat IDs before Hifumi left for the church she spent most of her nights in. Once she was gone, Akira asked Yusuke what he had wanted to talk about before meeting him and Hifumi. Yusuke was thankful for the chance to complain.

School became slightly more interesting after he began speaking with Hifumi. They had no classes together, but they would greet each other in the morning and Hifumi invited him to sit at a table with her at lunch. She always sat with a few of her own friends, or acquaintances, Yusuke wasn’t sure, who Yusuke was rather uncomfortable around. He spent his lunches talking to Hifumi and engaging in games of Shogi that the other girls at the table would crowd around to watch. Yusuke was very bad at Shogi and Hifumi was surprisingly loud. Days when they didn’t play, Yusuke drew. The entire table had to remind him to eat.

Yusuke had been glad to report back to the others that his school social life was improving since he had been introduced to Hifumi. He had gotten a new sketch book during that time and Hifumi had been added to the random sketches of his friends he did during class. Thankfully, Ashikaga refrained from bothering him since the incident with his previous sketchbook, but that didn’t stop Yusuke from hearing him complain about his interactions with Hifumi with others. Jealously was easy for Yusuke to pick out in people now and Ashikaga was an obvious example.

For a few weeks, Yusuke found it relatively easy to ignore him, but it just wasn’t meant to last.

“Kitagawa?” Mr. Mamoru called from across the room. Yusuke looked up from his canvas. “It looks likes were running low on reds and blacks for everyone. Do you mind picking some up from the storage room?” 

“Of course,” Yusuke put his paintbrush down and stood up. He never had a chance to catch Ashikaga’s sharp stare. Yusuke took the keys Mamoru held out to him and left. Ashikaga raised his hand, “Mr. Mamoru, can I go to the bathroom?”

Yusuke unlocked the storage room closet and left the keys in the lock. He glanced around for a bit before finding the paint colors he had been requested to find. He picked up the box the paint was stored in. He jumped when the door slammed behind him and locked. Yusuke dropped the box, tubes of paint crashing to the ground, and spun around. He grabbed the door knob, turned it, and pushed. The door was locked. “Hello?” Yusuke called out, “Help?”

“Shouldn’t have left the keys in the door, pervert!” Ashikaga shouted through the door, smug and twirling the keys around his finger, “If you wanted a girlfriend you should have picked someone else! Hifumi is too good for you!”

“She is not my girlfriend!” Yusuke shouted back and the door rattled as he pushed harder, “We are just friends! Let me out!”

“No! Stay in there!”

“Ashikaga! Please!” Yusuke received no answer after that. His classmate was gone and had taken the keys. Yusuke was stuck, locked in a room, alone. Punished the same way Madarame had punished him in the past. Yusuke kicked the door, “Let me out!”

Panicked and stressed, Yusuke stepped back from the door and fell back onto the dirty floor of the dim storage room. He was shaking. He was trapped. He was alone.

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

He swallowed his fear and pulled out his cellphone.

**Hifumi: Hello, Yusuke. I know you’re in class, but you left a notebook at lunch and I wanted to let you know I have it.**

Yusuke was relieved to realize he wasn’t actually alone anymore. Hifumi could help him. He quickly texted her back.

Hifumi was in English class, bored and staring down at a sheet of sentences she was supposed to translate. Her phone lit up on her desk and she glanced up at her teacher, reading a book and ignoring the class as they worked in silence. Hifumi picked up her phone and unlocked it. She had received a text from Yusuke. Most likely, he was texting her about when he would pick up his math notebook.

It wasn’t.

**Yusuke: I have been locked in a storage closet on the second floor.**  
**Yusuke: I need help.**

Hifumi gasped and quickly responded. She didn’t understand what could have happened, but she was willing to run out of her classroom and find him if she had to.

**Hifumi: I’ll get a teacher with keys! What happened?**

**Yusuke: Ashikaga took the keys and locked me in. Also, I suggest you stay away from him. He seems to think he owns you.**

**Hifumi: We’re coming to get you!**

Hifumi quickly stood, her desk’s legs squeaking against the floor. Her teacher looked up, placing her book down. “I received a text from my friend that says he has been locked in a storage closet by a bully and he can’t get out!” she declared and her teacher stood up just as quickly, opening her desk to get her keys.

“Where?”

Yusuke was let out of the storage closet ten minutes later. Finding the correct closet hadn’t have been that hard, but the principle had to be informed. Yusuke’s art teacher had rushed to aid in freeing Yusuke, but he didn’t have the keys. Ashikaga was found hiding in the school’s garden and both he and Yusuke were sent to the office. Yusuke was found to be the obvious victim and was let go with nothing other than a request to be more careful while Ashikaga received detention.

“They should have done more,” Hifumi forcefully shoved her books into her bag.

“It’s fine,” Yusuke said, waiting for her.

“No, it’s not and you know that,” Hifumi zipped her bag and, in her frustration, snagged the zipper on a few sheets of paper. Yusuke quietly helped her fix the problem. “He was terrible to you! I feel like he should be expelled or… have a change of heart!”

“A change of heart would be nice,” Yusuke mused as he successfully zipped up Hifumi’s bag and took a step back. Perhaps Ashikaga’s shadow was hidden somewhere in Mementos. 

“We should talk to Akira about this.”

“What?”

“Oh!” Hifumi’s eye’s widened, “Oh, no, I didn’t mean… It’s just that… Do you… not know?”

“Know what?” Yusuke needed to know if Hifumi knew of Akira’s status as a phantom thief. He felt she could be trusted and there was a chance that if Akira had told her, she would continue to remain a good friend and ally, but Yusuke had to know for sure.

“Nothing! I thought… It’s not my place to say.”

Yusuke grabbed Hifumi by the arm and tugged her away. Other students watched as the two disappeared behind a corner. “Phantom Thieves,” Yusuke hissed, leaning down close to Hifumi. Hifumi leaned back to get away from Yusuke’s invasion of her personal space.

“Phantom…” Hifumi repeated quietly.

“Phantom Thieves. What do you know?”

“It’s not my place to say.”

“You know Akira is a Phantom thief,” Yusuke stated in a whisper.

“I…” Hifumi nodded, “Yes. He could help you with Ashikaga.”

Yusuke took a step back and cleared his throat, “I see. Did he tell you as much?”

“Well, he didn’t tell me, per say,” Hifumi admitted, “He helped me with my mother and it was more like… intuition? I asked him and he eventually admitted it.”

“I see… You had me nervous for a second,” Yusuke smiled, relieved, “Let’s walk back to the dorms. Perhaps I will tell Akira about Ashikaga.”

Hifumi matched his smiled, “You definitely should. He lives to help his friends.”

“He truly does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always liked Hifumi, but I find it so sad that they went to school together and never seemed to talk. I fell like they're a little alike in their passion and would get along great. Ashikaga is a random name for a random bully. I sort of just combined him as a bully for Yusuke and one of the boy fans who are a little too obsessed with Hifumi.
> 
> Mamoru is also a name I picked randomly for the teacher that interacts with Yusuke in a cut scene. He seemed nice.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had writer's block for a good chunk of time and it seems Persona 5 was able to get me writing again. I noticed there wasn't much about what Yusuke went through before and during the game's timeline (at least that I could fine. If you know of any send them my way!) so I wanted to make use of my inspiration. I hope you enjoy it and i manage to write more!


End file.
